Jumat, 04 Januari 2013

Penantian


Saat malam datang kau buat diriku gelisah tak menentu
seakan menyita semua perhatian dan pikiranku
melenyapkan angan anganku

Kau... yang berada jauh dariku
Beribu mil jarak yang menghalangi mata ini tuk melihat senyummu
Sulit hati ini mengucap kata, menahan rasa di dada

Tak lagi aku dengar suara beratmu
Suara yang mengatakan rindu
Suara yang menyebut namaku disertai gelak tawa
Serta bercerita tentang cinta

Wahai kasih sering aku bertanya,
“pernahkah kau terbayang aku disini”
Sendiri dan menunggu
Menanti datangnya dirimu yang akan membawaku bersamamu

Setiap kata yang tertulis dan tak mampu terucap, hanya tersimpan
Dan kau tak kan pernah tau
Dan aku tak mau kau tau
Tau akan diriku yang lemah tanpamu

Kapan, kapankah rindu ini menyatu?
Menjadi satu rasa milik kita
Hanya kita
Tak perlu orang lain mengetahui
Mereka yang hanya akan menentang
Walau jauh, aku percaya
Hari itu akan tiba
Kau datang untukku

Keep Holding On...








Jumat, 28 Desember 2012

Seorang Bapak Penjaja Nasi



Malam itu aku sendiri. Butuh ketenangan dan kebebasan. Setelah beberapa hari lalu aku ngerasa bete banget karena satu hal. Aku dikecewain sama orang yang aku sayang dan aku rindukan.

Sore itu aku berniat mengunjunginya, pergi ke kotanya demi nemuin dia. Tapi kenyataan lain dan keberuntungan bukan untuk aku saat itu. Aku yang tak pedulikan rasa capek sepulang kerja, dan aku sempatkan membeli oleh oleh untuk kawan yang ingin aku kunjungi. Aku rela berdesak desakan dengan banyak orang dan aku perjuangkan aku mendapat transport untuk sampai di kotanya. Namun semua itu terlambat, tiket terjual habis. Dan aku sangat sangat kecewa sekali. Aku hancur dengan satu kalimat “terserah kamu lah..bebz..”
Aku gak tau apa yang ada dipikiran dia saat tulis kalimat itu..ampun…

Aku hancur dan saat itu aku ngerasa banget betapa bodonya aku. Aku pulang dengan kecewa dan sangat menyesal. Aku merasa salah banget sama diriku sendiri yang udah maksain kehendak. Pulang dengan beribu penyesalan dan kekecewaan, semalaman aku di jalan, gak peduli lagi seperti apa rasa mata, tangan, kaki dan tubuh ini. D*MN

Kembali, malam yang suntuk itu, aku menikmati waktu sendiri. Aku keluar kamar dan cari angin segar di sekitar. Ada yang menarik perhatianku saat itu. Sebuah tenda kecil dengan Bapak tua penjaga tenda itu. “Angkringan” mungkin itu sebutan akrabnya kalangan umum. Akhirnya aku memutuskan untuk mampir dan makan disana. Setelah melihat makanan yang tertata rapi, mngingatkanku pada orang yang belum lama mengecewakan aku. Ya, berupa nasi bungkus kecil yang biasa dan terkenal disebut nasi kucing, aku begitu menikmatinya. Dengan tambahan beberapa gorengan yang tersedia. Ntah, sesederhana itu aku. Kadang untuk tenang itu tak perlu mahal dan mewah. Bapak itu langsung menawariku minum dan aku minta the panas yang sangat melegakan aku.

Di sela aku makan, Bapak itu sering bertanya sapa dengan aku. Aku pun jawab pertanyaannya satu per satu dengan membagi konsentrasiku saat itu yang sambil mengirim pesan singkat ke salah satu temanku. Beberapa menit ngobrol terasa akrab. Bapak itu terlihat kesepian dan lelah menjajakan makanannya. Mungkin itu juga jadi faktor kenapa dia lantas berlanjut bercerita padaku.

Tiba tiba datanglah seorang pemuda yang langsung masuk tenda dan membuat wedang teh oleh dirinya sendiri. Dengan bangganya Bapak tua itu memperkenalkannya denganku. Ternyata dia adalah putranya, dan masih dipanggil “adek” oleh Bapaknya. Hmmm lucu juga  :)
Setelah pemuda tadi keluar dan pergi ntah kemana mengendarai motornya, dengan senyum bangga dan sumringah, Bapak itu melanjutkan ceritanya. Bahwa putranya tadi baru lulus STM tahun ini dan dia adalah putra terakhir Bapak itu.

Lanjut perkenalan mengenai putranya, Bapak tua itu menyebut nama putranya itu adalah “Gagah Sugandhi” . Nama yang cukup bagus dan gagah, menurutku. Bapak tua itu melanjutkan bercerita tentang putranya yang bernama Gagah, dan dia sangat terbuka. Dengan memberitahu arti nama anaknya, orang yang bijaksana dan gagah. Secara tidak langsung, dari cerita Bapak itu, anaknya memiliki sifat dan pergaulan yang kurang baik. Berbeda dengan kakaknya, lanjut cerita Bapak tadi, yang sampai sejauh ini aku malah tidak tau nama Bapak itu siapa dan juga si Bapak itu pun tak mengetahui namaku, hanya saja tau dimana aku bekerja karena tadi di awal sempat dia tanyakan. Kakak Gagah Sugandhi sudah bekerja di salah satu minimarket yang lumayan terkenal di kota gudeg ini. Namanya adalah “Ganda Wigandhung” yang artinya bagus dalam dan luar. Amin..doa si Bapak.

Tidak malu malu sang Bapak bercerita sedikit tentang keluarga kecilnya. Bahwa dia pernah tinggal di kota Palembang dan akirnya memutuskan kembali ke kota asal karena biaya hidup disana lebih mahal dari disini. Dan sekarang ini dia bertahan dengan usaha nasi tenda / angkringan ini. Lama lama aku tertarik terus mendengarkan cerita Bapak itu. Sosoknya, sosok sang ayah dan pemimpin keluarga yang bagaimanapun juga bertanggung jawab dengan keluarga yang dia miliki. Sosok sang ayah yang bangga dan selalu sayang dengan putra putranya. Sang ayah yang menaruh harapan besar kepada putranya dengan memberi doa dalam nama yang diberikan dan penuh arti bagi kedua putranya. Sosok itu yang mengngatkanku pada sang ayah yang jauh disana. Sedikit dan pasti ada persamaan yang bisa aku ambil. Aku merindukan sosok ayah yang selalu bangga menceritakan setiap langkah putra putrinya. Menerangkan semua hal yang menyangkut kesukaan putra putrinya dengan senyum bangga dan bahagia, di wajahnya yang kini semakin keriput, terlihat semakin tua. Ayah…apa kabar ayah disana? Gumamku dalam hati kecil ini.

Masih, aku mendengarkan cerita Bapak tadi, sembari melahap nasi yang dijualnya. Ya…aku tak peduli sekitar banyak orang yang ternyata memperhatikanku makan di tenda dan asik mengobrol dengan Bapak pemilik tenda nasi kucing itu. Aku sangat menikmati dan membebaskan penat dihatiku. Melirik ke atas dilangit yang indah dengan sedikit cahaya bulan. Semuanya benar benar membuatku sadar banyak hal. Ternyata diluar sana banyak sekali hal yang menjadi inspirasi dan motivasi. Dan lagi, aku salut dengan Bapak tua itu. Betapa bahagianya terpancar seketika dia menceritakan banyak hal mengenai putra putranya. Tanpa sadar, aku ikut membatin dan berdoa untuk Bapak itu dan keluarganya.

Malam menunjukkan jam 21.59 wib. Lama lama aku jadi sadar itu sudah cukup malem untuk anak perempuan. Apalagi aku inget aku belum bersih bersih dari sepulang kerja tadi. Lantas selesai meneguk teh hangat yang mulai mendingin, aku pamit pulang.Bapak itu mengucap terima kasih dan aku balas pula “suwun pak..”

Lalu aku pulang dan ngerasa ati ini lega. Feel better aja. Gak tau, mungkin karena pengaruh cerita Bapak tadi, Bapak penjaja nasi. Terima kasih pak, batinku seiring langkahku pulang.


Minggu, 16 Desember 2012

~FREEDOM~

Life is a time when someone live for own self. But they communicate and work together with each other, to find what they need, what they want and a purpose of life.
When they were born, they had all the freedom, cry, laugh, they can sleep with their mother beside, and they were survive. They have more ability, but still..no body's perfect in this life.
Perfection belongs only to ALLAH.

In this life, people must do something to survive and be better for their life. There are many kind of people here and many ways to utilize everything inside of the earth. And it will show you belonged neither good nor bad. Sometimes, when someone feel lost and desperation, many people decide to walk alone and do whatever they want. Most of the decisions made were negative. Then they will regret it and bear all the consequences of it. Some will be back on the right way, but some will always lost. And, how about those who always do the right way in this life? They will get all the kindness from this life, like meet for lucky people then help them, always feel calm and peacefully, no doubt and always walk in the name of Allah. If you can get past all the bad temptations you will see the bright light and find the better life.

Freedom..is for everyone. Everyone who will make it through for themselves. But, unfortunately it's not like what happened to me. For me, life is a process and we must do the best for get happiness inside. In the past, I feel very happy with traditional home, traditional customs, traditional games, have many friends, play the game until called by my mother to take a bath. And special moment in the morning when I'm open my eyes first and then my ear listen a nice song, nice music that give me spirit to face the day. All make me feel that's me, very nice. Spend all the day with family, but without my father... But, i think IT'S NOT OVER. Life will keep run. I really enjoyed it. I can meet my father, maybe once in a month, or my father will arrange his coming to see me.

Well, it's just a little bit about me, but now I became a girl, and knowing which ones are good and which are bad. Sometimes, I overbearing and the results are not too good. I feel more freedom and have the right to do more as well. Dare to decide some matter in a way I thought to myself. But, almost, I told my mother and father and other people that I love what happened to me? what's wrong with me? and any problems with my school or job, healthy, or other situations. Someone say that I selfish, foolish..complicated. But, it's ME.

If I talk about now, it could be better or bad..subjective. Now I'm working. I try to get a lot of experiences, friends, benefits, and others. Sometimes, because of someone..I became frustration, weak, childish, also like I don't have ability to face my days, my life and the world. How could this be? Every people who can see me now, maybe they will say if I am success, lucky and other. Because I just a little girl from teh village and now try to get and reach my dreams with all I can do. With support from my family, that's just important for me. But because of one, I feel I lose my time, my freedom, my goal, my next destination to live, oh..damn! But I still hold my dreams.

I think I can survive with this condition, but it has happened many times. How can I pretend with my real feeling? God....................
Is he my mate for the future? Oh, I know that the future is Yours, Your secret. But I am as an ordinaryjust can pray and do the best. I do not want my parents and all poeple who loves me as I do, they disappointed with me. Sure, I CAN DO BETTER.

I don't waste my time, so please don't waste my dreams. Let's see this world is change, and I will show you the results from my sacrifice. I know my ability. I know my strength and my weakness. Let me see the world and my life, my Freedom. I want to fly..fly away and searching for the brightness life...

THIS IS THE PART OF ME THAT YOU'RE NEVER  GONNA EVER TAKE AWAY FROM ME





Rabu, 05 Desember 2012

Down To Earth

I never thought that it’d be easy,
Cause we’re both so distant now,
And the walls are closing in on us and we’re wondering how,
No one has a solid answer,
But just walking in the dark,
And you can see the look on my face, it just tears me apart...
 
So we fight,
Through the hurt,
And we cry and cry and cry and cry,
And we live,
And we learn,
And we try and try and try and try!  
 
So its up to you,
And its up to me,
and we meet in the middle, on our way back down to earth,
Down to earth..
On our way back down to earth,
Back down to earth...
 
Mommy, you were always somewhere,
And Daddy, I live out of town,
So tell me how could I ever be, normal somehow?
You tell me this is for the best,
So tell me why am I in tears?
So far away and now I just need you here,
 
So we fight,
Through the hurt,
And we cry and cry and cry and cry,
And we live, 
And we learn,
And we try and try and try and try
 
I felt so far away,
From where we used to be,
And now we’re standing,
And where do we go,
when there’s is no road
to get to your heart?
Lets start over again!
 
 
-for 4Dec12-

Jumat, 09 November 2012

Last Day

9 November 2012.

Gag tau harus bilang apa..ini hari yang ditunggu atau ditakutin..atau yang aku sayangkan..?
Ini hari terakhir di tempat kerjaku,, ya.. Kota Satria.

Jl Dr Suharso, Gang Kenanga bakal jadi kenangan..bangett.

Walopun aku berhenti dengan cara yang mungkin ya kurang sopan, tapi aku udah milih. Apapun keputusan pasti ada hikmahnya, aku sudah pasrahkan semua. Aku hanya yakin pasti akan ada hikmah baik dari semua keputusan yang aku ambil.

Aku bakal kangen banget disini..sama semua rekan kerja, tempat tempat nongkrong disini, dan temen baikku..ya, dia yang bisa ngerubah cara pikir aku dan bikin aku betah (sebenernya) disini.

Hopefully kamu gag lupain aku ya...

FAREWELL

Wherever you're going
I wanna go
Wherever you're heading
Can you let me know
I don't mind catching up
I'm on my way
Just can't take the thought of you miles away

And I know you're going somewhere to make a better life

I hope that you find it on the first try
And even though it kills me
That you have to go
I know I'll be sadder
If you never hit the road

So farewell

Somebody's gonna miss you
Farewell
Somebody's gonna wish that you were here
That somebody's me

I will write to tell you what's going on

But you won't miss nothing but the same old song
If you don't mind catching up
I'll spend the day telling you stories about a land far away
But I know

And I know you're going somewhere to make a better life

I hope that you find it on the first try
And even though it kills me
That you have to go
I know I'll be sadder
If you never hit the road

So farewell

Somebody's gonna miss you
Farewell
Somebody's gonna wish that you were here
Farewell
Somebody's gonna miss you
Farewell
Somebody's gonna wish that you were here
That somebody's me

And I'm gon' try to hold it all in

Try to hold back my tears
So it don't make you stay here
Yeah, I'ma try to be a big girl now
Cause I don't wanna be the reason you don't leave

Farewell

Somebody's gonna miss you
Farewell
Somebody's gonna wish that you were here
Farewell
Somebody's gonna miss you
Farewell
Somebody's gonna wish that you were here
That somebody's me 

Will always miss U...
Ntah kapan...kalo ada waktu dan rejeki insyaAllah aku maen..mengunjungi Kota Satria lagi...Gor Satria, Andhang Pangrenan, Baturaden, Susu Superman, Jagung Bakar bapake, Moro..dan masih banyak lagi tempat yang bakal aku kangenin.. hehe
:)






See you next time..Purwokerto....



Jumat, 02 November 2012

Just A Kiss

Lying here with you so close to me
It's hard to fight these feelings
When it feels so hard to breathe
Caught up in this moment
Caught up in your smile

I never open up to anyone

So hard to hold back
When I'm holding you in my arms

We don't need to rush this

Let's just take it slow

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

I know that if we give this a little time

it'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find
It's never felt so real
No it's never felt so right

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright
I don't want to mess this thing up
I don't want to push too far
Just a shot in the dark that you just might
be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight

No I don't want to say goodnight

I know it's time to leave but you'll be in my dreams
Tonight
Tonight
Tonight


Let's do this right with just a kiss goodnight

With a kiss goodnight
A kiss goodnight

Kamis, 04 Oktober 2012

Always Be My Baby


We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
'Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way

But inevitably you'll be back again
'Cause you know in your heart babe
Our love will never end, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on and on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling,'cause you'll always be my baby

(I know that you'll be back Girl)
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder, oh
(I know that)
You'll be right back, baby
OOww Well, baby believe me it's only a matter of time ...

You'll always be apart of me
And I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on and on
(And we will linger on and on)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my ... My baby

You'll always be apart of me
And I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on and on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

Always Be My Baby ....